I can’t believe I’m typing this - golf is good

Apr 21

How to find a community outside instead of at a laptop.

The WSJ published an article, “Why More Female Executives Don’t Play Golf- and Why That’s a Problem” on April 17th, that caught my eye. It’s since blown up on social media and has been forwarded to me no less than six times.

The journalist highlights the networking study by a Central Michigan University professor that mentions “80% of Fortune 500 executives say golf has helped their career”. Yet, women continue to miss out when we aren’t on the greens. I understand why.

I have sticks and I the golf outfits. I’ve tried lessons over the years but it’s been hard to commit since I’ve had my girls while holding down work and life. I’ve also attempted to join six whole leagues in the suburbs. Unfortunately, it doesn’t make my calendar much right now and this article stings. I am inconsistent at best, which makes me incredibly insecure in my golf game.

For my female career coaching clients, I can already hear the questioning that coincides with a huge shoulder shrug— g o l f? You want me to add one more thing that takes many hours to my to do list in the name of work?

Golf is a very hot topic in my household. I am the Mom of a nine-year-old female golf enthusiast and an eight year old who can’t wait to drive golf carts one day. My father is a prolific golfer and my husband and father-in-law played college golf. I, myself, have dabbled with fairways since 1993. The height of my golfing career was in a 9 hole league in San Francisco’s Harding Park every week with one of my guy friends.

Connecting the article to my holistic approach to careers, my own research and practices supports the idea that golf is a good idea. Eastern and Western research shows that increased physical and mental well-being occurs when we find ways to pause and allow rest for our brains.

Sadly, since 2017, Americans are disconnected from other people. Since Covid, loneliness is the biggest factor linked to depression and anxiety for over 70% of the population. All of this impacts our working life and productivity.

Golf socialization, whether it’s high-fiving in a scramble or laughing at the shot that nearly takes out an old pine tree builds comradery. The SmartLess hosts Will Arnett and Jason Bateman talk about golf in every episode, inviting their guests to enjoy a round of golf after they’ve been on the show or how they’ve rattled off names of many non-hollywood golfers with whom they’ve played in charity golf events. Full Swing is a Bravo-esque documentary-style reality show that has increased in popularity. Golf is more mainstream than ever and the research is showing that women and men need it for work.

Outside of the barriers to entry, golf checks so many boxes - it’s outdoors, played in groups, and often followed by socialization over meals.

The benefits of golf are hard to dismiss.

Why strategic networking matters to your career, now and in the future.

“Women’s networks tend to include people who are more like themselves, whereas men’s networks tend to be…more strategic and include more powerful people. One way men create more diverse networks is through golf. They connect …over shared interest rather than common background. Women should do that, too”, Professor Deborah Gray powerfully states when asked how men and women differ in networking approaches.

Networking can seem like drudgery, but changing your perspective, it’s a true way to increase feeling seen, be heard and a lot of fun with many different people from all areas of your personal and work life. Ultimately, your Career network is about creating a community that you can go to tomorrow, next month or even in 10 years for advice, a job or reference.

If you’ve tried and still dislike golf, lean into the concept of networking diversity. This is where you career growth edge is.

Have you ever heard this common sales coaching phrase? “Get out there and play in traffic.” For everyone, including salespeople, being with others and away from your laptop or phone helps increase sales, revenues, profits and is a chance to hear real time feedback on processes and products. That phrase “play in traffic” is a a hardcore metrics -based approach that certainly serves the company's bottom line.

However, I implore you to turn the idea of ‘getting out there’ inward. At any point in an economic cycle or in any type of role, there’s always a possibility you might get laid off or lose interest in your current role or not click with your new manager after your former bestie-boss resigns.

After all, finding and holding a career has never been a one person game. Careers require other people to hire us, to remember the skills we have, to be a reference. If you do not have a network that is diverse enough, you will be stuck.

Building A Career Community and With or Without Golf

This quote needs to be repeated, “men’s networks tend to be less homogeneous and more strategic’, in other words, DIVERSE. This is a concept that we already know in so many areas of our life. Does it make sense to put 100% of your portfolio into one investment? Would a personal trainer only do sets of bicep curls each session? Would a nutritionist tell you to only eat one food every day all day?

N. O.

The same holds true for your career network.

A- Break the Boring Networking Cycle. Find Creative Ways to Share Interests and Learn

Several years ago, I co-created a multi-generational networking club at work. Instead of a one-way network that was the norm; senior people would give advice to junior people, it was a two-way multi-generational and multi-level community. An associate who had recently graduated college was paired with someone who had 10+ years of experience. The rules were simple, both had to share something the other could learn in every meeting.

B- Go With What and Who You Know with a Twist.

Here are two ways to grow your network and keep it diverse but do not feel so out of reach that your social anxiety will stop you in your tracks. You probably already have a network in your areas of interest, keep going.

I- Alumni.

Use your common sport, high school, college, graduate degree to start a conversation. Everyone moves around the country, find various roles and splinter into different industries. Using LinkedIn or signing up for alumni newsletters can spark conversations. Alumni networks provide safety of an alma mater with a diversity across careers and levels. Do not limit yourself to any graduation dates. Here is an easy starting question to kick off the message: “when was the last time you were on campus? Do you have 15 minutes to connect this week?”

II- Do things outdoors with other people. Much like driving a car, golf is a glorious way to have a conversation next to someone instead of a cross from a table. It’s hard to be frustrated when the wind is in your hair, the sun shining down and you can frankly relax a little. Golf is a way to walk and talk and notice how people react to bad shots or slow play. The same walking conversation can be true for long urban walks, hiking, fishing, paddleboarding. Pickleball, like golf, is a way to reach many ages, skill levels and genders. It’s hard to miss all the fun the picklers are having. Perhaps you need to create a charity Pickleball tournament with many various groups. All of these can include your family which helps reduce calendar stress when you are stretched thin.

Opportunity lost In the Job Hunt for the Next Role-

When did we stop having fun meeting or connecting to people? This is permission to have fun creating ways to expand your community. My coaching clients have often missed out on reaching into the well of former colleagues, friends for fear they haven’t talked to them for so long. An invitation for golf, pickle or a family sports event feels like a softer, more informal, genuine way to reconnect after all that 2020 has brought us.

It’s also a great excuse to buy some new gear. Have fun!