As seen in @urbanwellnessmag
TEN YEARS AGO, I TRAVELED THREE WEEKS OUT OF EVERY MONTH FOR MY HIGH-STRESS FINANCE JOB WHILE LIVING OUT WEST AND TRAVELING TO THE EAST COAST. I NOTICED MANY COLLEAGUES GETTING SERIOUS HEALTH DIAGNOSES OR TAKING EXTENDED LEAVES TO CARE FOR THEMSELVES ON MY WORK TRAVELS. THE OTHER HALF OF THE OFFICE LIVED ON A DIET OF COFFEE BY DAY AND BEER BY NIGHT. THE CULTURE REQUIRED 110% FOR EVERY EMAIL, CONFERENCE CALL, OR BICOASTAL MEETING. THE PROJECTS WERE INTENSE, THE PAYCHECKS BIG, AND THE PROMISE OF TITLES HUNG IN THE AIR EVERY YEAR.
Little did I know I was watching and personally experiencing burnout. We called it the grind back then, but we never stopped long enough to name the anxiety, depression, and lack of well-being. For years, I lived exclusively in a place of work, play, more work. My health barely ranked in the top 5 in my busy lifestyle. The constant cycles of highs and lows were addicting to my ego. Deep down, I was running on mental and emotional emptiness. I had a few severe scares in my twenties, but they didn’t shake me far enough out of my Wall Street blues to see that my purpose, peace, and prosperity lagged behind. On every work trip or subway ride, I’d read leadership books by everyone from Simon Sinek to Brene Brown to Don Miguel Ruiz, looking for the answer to career happiness. Absorbing words by prolific authors is one thing, but it’s challenging to take action when I’d fall asleep with my work email buzzing on my phone all day. I listened to all the wisdom on finding yourself before finding your purpose from every best-selling book on my daily commutes. Despite it all, I continued to travel, take on high-profile projects, and got the reputation as the ‘get-it- done-no-matter-what’ colleague.
Two essential opportunities changed the trajectory of my singular focus on the career ladder towards holistic yet practical mind, body, and spirit practices. The Equinox yoga studio opened next to my gym on the Upper West Side. I had started yoga in my twenties in San Francisco but had not found a studio I loved in New York. My monthly membership got me back to my own breath that and a community of those who stepped onto the mat to solace the city that was swirling around us. For 60 minutes, I started to come back to myself through sweat, flow and centering teachers. I started questioning working through dinner and started showing up for the 6 pm Flow class three times a week. The second serendipitous moment was my San Francisco friend asking if anyone needed free career coaching as part of her Coaching certification homework. I worked with a coach to broaden my thinking outside of wall street and the ‘shoulds’ of the corporate ladder, which is often a rocky flat path and not a ladder in the first place. I had no idea career coaches existed, and mine blew my mind and heart open to possibilities. I kept working with her for over a year. After all, who doesn’t love a coach that gives you book ideas and homework on finding the right job?
Next, fast forward to 2020, my family, now in the suburbs of Philadelphia, were struck by the global Covid shutdowns. We pivoted to homeschooling our daughters and working out of nearly every space in our house. Like many industries, my husband is also in finance, and things did not stop. The chaos and exhaustion ensued. However, the silver lining of Covid for me was finally getting off airplanes midweek to get seriously curious about my well-being from my toes to my nose.
I KNEW THERE HAD TO BE A BETTER WAY TO WORK AND LIVE, MOM AND PARTNER. STRESS BEGETS STRESS WHICH WAS NOT HELPING ANYONE. I STARTED TO EXPLORE WAYS TO CALM DOWN AMIDST THE PANDEMIC.
As Covid schedules changed in the spring of 2020, I went on my mat every single day. It might have been for 15 minutes or as long as 2 hours. Every single day, I took time to center myself and slow my nervous system down. I stopped binging NetFlix and signed up for online yoga teacher training during the last two years. I’m currently working on my 500-hour training. I have learned that no matter where you work or live, having a practice of self-awareness and movement will allow room for abundance and reduce stress. When your personal stressors reduce, your work, relationships, and health improve. Through yoga and walking, I lost 10 pounds of airport food weight gain in covid. That was a happy accident. What came next was a game-changer. During this time, I kept reading anything recommended to me on Amazon. That led me to Burning Bright by Kelsey J Patel. It covers many topics from Reiki to Tapping to movement. Still, one line of it stated, “if any part of this interests you, get curious about bringing healthy rituals to your life. I clicked on her website from a place of pure experimentation, and I promptly signed up for all of her Reiki Certification classes.
Reiki, an ancient eastern healing method, diagnoses the energy of every living thing to answer the question, “where am I today?” Before Reiki, I knew what my to-do list said for work and home, but I didn’t know where I was in all of the doing. Reiki can be done with trained practitioners on people, animals, even plants. Once I had Reiki tools to help me in the now,” I could easily reset my get unstuck and ‘adult’ in a way that filled me up. The “Ki” in Reiki helps bring energy to any deficiencies internally so we can move through the world with reduced anxiety and easier decision making. Reiki uses Japanese symbols for balance, power, overall healing and leverages methods associated with the chakras, which are also a foundation of yoga. I started to combine Reiki and Yoga in my daily practice.
The unexpected part of my Reiki and Yoga studies was the sense of self outside of the definition of my finance career. By slowing down, I could see the path forward that I created that aligned to my values and vision, not someone else’s idea of success. Carving my own path has felt scary at times, but staying in a place where I was numb to everything was equally frightening. Covid forced me to step out of the massive to-do list of my corporate work and into how I was feeling every day. My mission is simple– find healing techniques that can reduce my stress and anxiety, all while fitting it into the practical sides of adulting. My biggest obstacle was learning to slow down and understand where I was spending energy, where my energy was stuck, and how that made me feel each hour of the day. Not to mention, I was still managing the last two years of news and protocols. Today, I have indeed found a better way to integrate wellness into my family, career, and daily life.
First thing’s first– you have to part with the old energy. Twenty years of old energy was hanging onto me like glitter to my skin! I was barking at my kids, forgetting the words to sentences midstream, rushing my date nights, unable to relax. I took it upon myself to clean out my energetic closet just like you would if something didn’t fit you anymore. Like your own personal wifi signal, energy moves and shifts based on what you are feeling and sensing. Similar to a router, you emit energy through all parts of your body, nervous system, and chakras of the body. Like internal energy wheels, the chakras can get stuck or spin unnaturally with starts and stops from your head to your feet. As a Reiki Master, I read that signal that you emit. Each person absorbs energy from external sources differently (work, family, places) and stores it throughout the body, uniquely given your DNA and anxiety. You can read your energy by quickly asking yourself how you feel and where you feel any tension. Tension is stress blocking clarity.
Spring is around the corner, and I do not want to carry any stale or stuck energy into the period of growth. I’ve created an Energy detox workshop to help move anxiety, stress, the unknown, or old patterns. Energy Detoxes, like donating ill-fitting clothing, releases overwhelm or looping negative thoughts to make room for new ways of living in good health. During every shift of seasons similar to the Spring Equinox upon us, I take the time to journal after a self-scan of how I’m feeling and where I’m excited or sad, energized or sluggish. When energy was balanced, and my anxiety lessened, I was present enough to finally consider what I wanted next in my life and career.
