The Search Can be Endless, Unless....
In my recent conversations with clients and friends, there is lots of very loud chatter about the search for the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect second home, the perfect school for our kids. There times like these, triggered by milestones, that start cycles of searching, grasping, analyzing and comparison.
>>“I had a great vacation but…” or “Next birthday I want to be at this level…” or “I got a raise but …”
Over the years, I’ve noticed these conversations looping at certain times of the year or at certain times in our lives.
These milestone moments, like the big birthday, change of seasons, the birth of a baby or the death of a loved one can bring about questions that can be endless. The “When will I’s” or “If only’s” can sprint around your mind like they are doing two-a-day workouts. I’m tired worrying, over thinking, aren’t you?
Unlike Indian Jones, we don’t find the treasure, ever. Yes, I said it, there is no treasure.
Stay with me for a few moments, please. The search for the big success or perfect ‘anything’ is, in fact, endless and unattainable. Instead, I implore that we live in the ‘&’ (and). Find the place that allows you to move to a kinder way to live that changes ‘but’ to and.
>>I had a great year at work and I want to look for something that is more aligned. We went on a vacation i was really looking forward to and it was cut short because my dog was ill. I just turned 40 and I am working towards writing a novel to publish by 41.
Let’s take a moment and reframe the hunt for the feeling of having it all. Grab a pen and paper. Answer these questions below.
>>Visualize a moment that felt like you had won the lottery. Think about a time that you felt on top of the world. How did you feel? Where did you feel it? How did you arrive at this place? Who was with you? Where were you? How old were you? What happened after this moment, day or event?
I have no doubt there was hard work, suffering, pain, join, alone and togetherness in all of your answers. There were moments right before and right after that were happy and sad. Allow both. It takes the edge off the search and moves to the middle.
Without the &, we are living in the hunt for thin air. Without the & we are constantly disappointed. Without the & we are complaining about more than we have gratitude for.
Email me your answers or questions to my exercise above for more clarity.
hello@lynnmull.com
