The Tug of Influence
My attention was everywhere but where I wanted it to be.
Imagine being lost on a road trip and asking the first local you see for directions. They give you shortcuts to skip concert lines or avoid closed bridges on your way to a woodland vacation. These nuggets of wisdom are like gold. Wasting time on road trips or in your career journey cheats you out of taking those big, bold American-sized action steps.
A quick pause to get help can save you from car arguments or circling your destination while everyone in the backseat battles nausea.
Are you desperately seeking a new work-life as if you’ve been dropped into a forest with no cell reception, relying only on your intuition to save you from a coyote? Staying stuck in the same career level for too long feels like being lost in a maze of roundabouts and dead ends.
Your work-life is more like a Survivor, with the ultimate prize being the perfect role for you—whether it’s a promotion, a lateral move, or even a step down. The biggest mistake can be looking outward after you've tasted success, only to find yourself off the beaten path by following other’s ideas of which road to take.
Early in our careers, it's common to seek direct advice, like a road warrior who’s lost their way. After a decade or more, your growing expertise shapes what you want and what you can’t tolerate. Advice from mentors can turn sour, influenced by their own biases. They might send us on wild goose chases we never wanted to be on.
Social Media’s Career Curse: Turning to celebrities, influencers, and TV hosts is like reaching for a mirage. You see the final product launch or a TV series, expanding your subconscious desires. Podcasts, articles, books, and app content tug at you, enticing you with someone else's highlight reel.
LinkedIn is a prime example of ego on display. Major career titles and retirement milestones are showcased without any hint of the struggles behind them. Disappointments with company culture, misaligned bosses, or ideas stolen in meetings are shared only in private texts. We don’t share the struggle, putting pressure on each other to put on a show, as if every week is the Oscars.
I've recently ended my own guru-worshipping phase. It's hard to say who I idolized the most: authors, lead singers, Instagram-famous healers, or former mentors with sky-high salaries. Idolizing from a distance makes it impossible to truly understand their personal or professional struggles. Gurus live outside of reality. They don’t know our values or heart’s desires. External inspiration is fine, but it doesn’t deserve such blind admiration.
We have all taken to looking outside of ourselves for answers, Kardashian’s influencing has become its own job category. Being over 40 and taking advice externally is absurd, taking us on the wrong path every time. Instead, be the one who no longer needs to know what everyone else thinks or cares about. Finding what works for you or your family allows for the most direct path to career health. No one else has your family’s DNA to know what will work.
Stopping to assess where you are today and what’s most important next can be daunting. Understanding what’s next must come from within.
I've dropped the map, cut off the GPS, and am now navigating with the compass that sits at the base of my sternum.
Work with me to unlock the answers within.
