Defining your Stress Stacking Before You Start an Earthquake
Are you collapsing under the stress of work, kids, extended family, spouses, friends, volunteering? I have been there and many of my clients have, too.
If you haven’t heard of Stress Stacking but you know the term, Habit Stacking, from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, let’s unpack the difference. Clear’s concept asks anyone wanting to create a new result in their life to work in micro daily habits. We all brush our teeth twice a day so why not also meditate or do squats at the same time or right afterwards. Stacking of habits can automatically create muscle memory to work towards a healthy mind, body and nervous system. By linking those habits to existing times of day or routines, we can inform our neurons that when we do the ‘basics’ like drink coffee, we also create positivity of meditation first thing each morning.
How did we get to a place where many people’s favorite book of the last few years is dedicated to layering “the good” in order to survive mid-life working, parenting and caregiving?
Our hustle comparison culture has created what I call ‘Stress Stacking’. I’ve lived and many clients are in the thick of delayering. I believe you must name the bad to get to the good stuff.
Through both my mindfulness, reiki and yoga training, I’ve been personally unwinding layers of stress while still maintaining a career and family. I work with clients each week to manage layers with prescriptions for less stacking,
To be honest, I hadn’t thought of these layers as Stress Stacking until my mentor asked me to consider all the nuances of working and personal stress that can be exacerbated by taking on just ‘one more thing’ in any particular part of your life.
Imagine the layers of Stress Stacking to look like the seismic sedimentary rock of the Grand Canyon. Centuries of dirt and rock and mud in the canyon have various layers and color formations, which can be symbolic of our own stress over the years. Can you see that massive formation in your mind now? It looks both beautiful and feels heavy. Just like your life, productivity and hustle and saying yes can live in between success and drowning. No one’s Stress Stack Canyon will look the same and yours will likely vary every year. Stress stacks can include work, home, mental angst, physical ailments, caregiving, parenting and finances.
Just like a mineral variation in the earth’s core, some of these stressors are pebbles and some are steel beams of nonsense. Of the list above, you might feel like most are not stressful at all today. Other areas of your to do list might feel like 6 feet of hot lava weighing you down and the thought of trying to accomplish one more thing might send you into a tizzy. Just like the physical geology of the Grand Canyon, stress compresses organs, thoughts, blood vessels, chakras, temperament and personality, and relationships.
Stress Stacking, if left to its own schedule, will develop a personal earthquake. I can guarantee those unbalanced will have a physical or mental halt if buried under each sedimentary stress. I’ve seen depression, anxiety, mental breakdowns, broken bones or autoimmune diseases suddenly appear. No doubt you’ve witnessed the mid life crisis of a neighbor as a response to these layers of stress.
How do we change the dynamics of Stress Stacking? I work with clients to understand their own Grand Canyon and peel it back. I’ll come back here with more in my next entry but for now, try this.
On the back of an envelope or napkin, write down the list below and label how stressed out you are this month about each on a scale of 1-10. 1 is low to no stress and 10 is high stress that brings a sickness to your gut thinking it. This is a no judgment zone.
Physical wellbeing
Finances
Work
Home/Living space
Friendships
Romantic relationship
Core Family unit
Extended family
Other Obligations (i.e, volunteering)
Now, doodle a star where you have the most control and doodle and X where you have very little control over what is happening.
Email me lynn@lynnmull.com your results in a picture and I’ll be happy to help you diagnose your stress stacking and give you a prescription of the next step.
