Seasonal Series: the Cycles Between Fall and Winter
Nicol is a sage through every phase
Lynn’s Note: Enjoy the next installment of the Seasonal Series Interviews. Nicol currently lives in Hawaii but will be in California shortly after this is posted. She is in transit, much like the seasons. As fall moves into winter, she is preparing to shake things up in a very aligned way.
We met on Zoom. Is that how all relationships—friendships and otherwise—begin these days? A Reiki training, our names on the bottom left of our screens.
“I’m Lynn from eastern Pennsylvania, but I’m living in South Carolina right now.” I blurted out all my locations like a COVID confession—that we had escaped the mid-Atlantic virus-fear-dome for grandparents, gardening, and bike paths.
“I’m Nicol. I’ve left NYC to live in Philadelphia with my parents.” Nicol was perched on a stool in her parents' basement, writing for a magazine in a spot with more room both inside and outside their family home.
Examining our very successful careers bonded us, as did the work of Reiki with Kelsey Patel, our Reiki Master. The old ways of working, which we had clung to for years, brought us success but no fulfillment. Now, years later, across many time zones, we’ve both expanded into our truest selves.
Nicol is a journalist, and her words fly off the page into my heart. Enjoy this juicy interview, inspired by the WSJ Magazine Cover story Q&A.
Nicol can be found at nicolnatale.com or @nicolnatale, @shopmuseessence (holistic essential oil products) @_bodyworship (retreats)
Q: Nicol, you are so vibrant which is why asking you about seasons shifting from Fall to Winter seems backwards initially. Can you explain when and how you notice transitions happening in your life and body?
Nicol: The foundation of my life as a human and a writer, Reiki master, yoga instructor, and integrative female embodiment coach is built upon the fact that we are aspects of nature and nature is a mirror to us.
Nature never rushes. She flows through her seasons with grace and ease, trusting that the rain will fall when it’s supposed to, that the sun will rise at dawn, and that the moon will grow dark and then full each month. This helps keep the world in harmony, a balance we can achieve within by riding the waves of change and embracing our own cyclical nature.
From physical ailments to emotional stressors, many of our problems arise from resisting the change and flow of nature. We push past calls to rest and nourish our needs as they change, and instead force ourselves to ignore our needs because our society is set up to support the energy levels and 24-hour hormonal cycle of a biological man.
Women, on the other hand, experience four inner seasons (also known as the four phases of our menstrual cycle), in which we live in for the majority of our lives. This cycle follows a 28-32 day hormonal pattern on average, so we truly are different people with varying lifestyle, nutritional, and emotional needs each week when this cycle is active. We also may or may not experience pregnancy, postpartum, premenopausal, and menopausal cycles as well.
If nature moves through cycles and seasons to achieve balance and vitality, then why, as a vessel carved with the minerals of the soil and filled with the water of nature's purest springs, would your life look any differently?
For most of my 29 years on earth, I ignored my body’s inner cycles because I was programmed to believe that I had to “work hard” to achieve success. I knew when my body needed rest, but instead I would drink caffeine or hit up a workout class. This led to a severe change in my health in my early 20’s, when I was a magazine editor living in New York. I developed chronic ovarian cysts, fibrocystic breast disease, anxiety, insomnia, panic, skin issues, and overall hormonal imbalance, spending a vast amount of time in doctor’s offices, emergency rooms, and under the knife.
After nearly 5 years of trying to “fix” my hormonal problems, I eventually surrendered my identity as an editor in NYC and headed for Hawaii to heal. I trusted myself and my intuition, following the path of holistic healing that helped me so much by becoming a yoga instructor and Reiki master. I took a break from professional writing and spent many hours in nature. I educated myself about my own body and cycle. I learned and unlearned many things, and almost immediately, I healed.
Healing is not perfect nor linear, it is a journey and not a destination. It will look different for all of us. But what I can confidently say is that we can look to nature to heal, and nature wants to heal us right back. It can feel confusing being a part of a society that values hard work, over consumption, and productivity over rest, pleasure, creativity, art, and sovereignty.
Understanding that our bodies are supposed to change over time as we move through the evolution of life, and that our bodies are on our team, always communicating to us and guiding us through our desires, can help us remain in balance. This can be as simple as letting your body take a nap when it’s tired instead of reaching for a coffee, or saying “no” to a social event because you are craving a sip of tea and a good book in the solitude of your home. This can also look like eating seasonally or according to your own inner seasons of menstruation.
Finding balance, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, really comes down to slowing down enough to listen to the messages of our bodies (physical symptoms, emotions, feelings, etc.) and believing in the information that our bodies are communicating to us. And then looking to nature to heal by honoring our cyclical nature as reflections of nature. This is ancient wisdom that longs to be known. We are remembering.
Q: Fall equinox is the day of equal light and darkness, while Winter moves into the quiet darkness. Winter can seem daunting and endless to me. What would you prescribe as a way to leverage this natural quieting?
Nicol: We’re programmed to be afraid of the dark, think movies. However the reality is that we live in a polarized reality that has both darkness and light. We tend to demonize the darkness, pain portals, and shadow periods which although uncomfortable are potent opportunities for transformation, growth, and evolution. I always come back to the womb, and how the Dark Holy Womb of the center of the universe allows room for infinite possibilities of creation — a new moon is a powerful time for manifestation for this very reason. If we can welcome the winter season as a time for reflecting on the past year, meeting our shadows, and quieting external stimulation, we can tap into the wisdom of our soul, get clear about what we learned over the past several months, and create room for the beginning of a brand new cycle in the spring.
Q: What’s one must have a low cost wellness practice or product in rotation? What’s the number one low cost item you’d recommend right now?
Nicol: I think different holistic practices work best for different people. Like everything in life, wellness is not a destination but a journey and we will always be dancing through various rituals to hold us through the waves of life. The most powerful, completely free wellness practice that we have is Pranayama or conscious breathwork. Many species breathe unconsciously, including us most of the time. Learning to breathe consciously and direct the breath can help us heal on mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. Taking 3 deep breaths in solitude is completely free and accessible to anyone with lungs.
Additionally I’d love to share a simple practice gifted to me from a powerful healer in Bali. She said that finding healing and inner connection doesn’t have to take hours of meditation in uncomfortable positions or thousands of dollars using the latest health service or product. She said in the morning, take a few deep breaths, place your hand on your heart, and tell yourself, “I’m sorry. I forgive you. I love you.” It’s such a beautiful and quick way to connect inward.
Q: Do you have a favorite season? What fills your cup in that season? Do you enjoy seasonal transitions or prefer the Hawaiian more moderate climate?
Nicol: As a believer in cyclical living, it’s really hard to choose a perfect season. However I would have to choose the season of fall, where the energies of softening and slowing down are at the forefront. I feel like it’s easy to get stuck in the “summer” energies of doing, doing, and doing by the nature of our society that tends to run at full speed. (I say this not to knock summer — I love the peak energy, blossoming creativity, and liveliness of this wonderful light-filled time of year)
It has been a personal goal to embrace more of the art of slowing down and softening, which I identify as more fall and winter qualities. I love a book by candlelight, a bubble bath filled with essences of lavender and rose, and an early morning in silence when the world is at rest. As a double Aquarius born in the quiet darkness of a new moon, I am energized and reset through solitude. So hence, fall has a hold on my heart.
Although I love the magic of each season and am a proponent of cyclical living, I personally prefer warm climates. We still have seasons in Hawai’i, yet they’re softer and more subtle. It takes awareness and connection to notice them. I have always compared this to the transition from menstruation (maiden, mother archetypes) to perimenopause and menopause (crone/sage/wise woman), when the hormonal cycles shift. The seasons are still experienced in these latter years; however, they become softer and more subtle, taking new shape. This is because there is a sense of completion — all of the seasons have been lived and experienced. Despite the “wintering” of perimenopause and menopause, all of the seasons live within. There is a wholeness.
Hawai’i’ is such a sacred, beautiful oasis with highly potent medicine. If you’ve felt the call and spent significant time here, then you certainly know what I mean. To connect this to cyclical living, I was deeply imbalanced when I arrived here 4 years ago — my womb and internal temperature were bone-chilled from years of trauma, stimulation, misalignment, and self-neglect in New York City. The tropical climate, high amounts of radiant sunshine, purifying ocean breeze, and ancient mountain medicine helped warm my soul and cleanse my field. The slow and soft lifestyle was specifically what I needed as I deprogrammed from the harshness of growing up on the East Coast. The most aligned climate and energetic land grids that would most nourish us greatly differ from person to person, and based on whatever season they are experiencing in their lives.
Q: We met in a Reiki class, focused on bringing our intuition from the quiet caverns to a more forward facing part of our lives. Where is your energy as we move into Winter?
Nicol: I am closing out one of the most important cycles of my existence by leaving this wonderful chapter of island life behind for a 42-acre ranch in California. This decision comes from a number of factors, but mostly with a desire to embrace an even slower, quiet transition. The words that come to mind are “roots” and “nesting.” After surviving my Saturn return and uncovering a deeper relationship to myself, my service to the world, and deepening love with my partner Tyler, next year is all about establishing foundations and roots for important aspects of my life to grow, like my baby Muse Essence which is a holistic wellness brand aimed at helping women find balance with their menstrual cycles and connect with their divine feminine essence through ritualistic worship of their wombs using earth-based essential oils, body oils, herbs, and more. I feel so clear about the development of my career and the embrace of family life that will come with the move as I enter a new decade of my life.
Q: How has this energy movement, through Reiki and yoga practices, shifted your career patterns or pathways?
Nicol: Growing up as a highly intuitive child in a Catholic environment with no support or guidance in the spiritual realm was very confusing and led to some aspects of shame. It’s been a lifelong journey of learning to embrace the inherent spiritual nature that is within me and that is also within all of us.
Experiencing these moments of sensitivity as a child and the Reiki masters and healers who have helped me from as young as high school remain connected to my inner source of love, helped create a sense of inner safety that allowed me to find acceptance and inspire others to love all that they are.
I will never forget my Reiki master who, as I lay crying on the floor of my New York City apartment, whispered the question, “Do you think you are maybe not meant to be a magazine editor.?” The identity that held all of my worth, self-acceptance, and perceived parental approval shattered completely — and then was built anew once I arrived in Hawai’i and began to both physically and emotionally heal and uncover my purpose. If I did not experience the horrendous pain and trauma of chronic reproductive illness in my early 20’s, it is possible that I would not have embraced this journey.
If I had taken the Western doctor’s one-pill-solution approach instead of trusting my intuition and guidance to leave NYC for Hawai’i, I doubt that my life would have unfolded the way it did to where I am able to give back now. If I did not have so many people — bosses, parents, friends, siblings, doctors — all doubting me, I wouldn’t be so inspired to change the system and help millions of women return to blueprint, connect to their wombs, and find health and healing like they deserve. If my womb didn’t start speaking to me and if I didn’t listen, this would all not be possible. The pain, the horror, the tears, the loss — it was all worth it. My entire life is now dedicated to paving the path for women, helping us to rewrite our stories, so we can end our suffering and restore the balance of the divine feminine to this planet.
Q: My focus has been helping motivated, intelligent multi passionate women find another way to life and work. You’ve launched services and now products to support helping them find balance in the cycles. How can your research help readers who are making career shifts while in the stages of perimenopause or menopause, a wintering of their cycle?
Nicol: It’s such a shame that our society makes women feel shameful for honoring the evolution of their bodies. We live in a world that tells you to dye your gray hair, inject your wrinkles, and hide signs of sinking skin. Families stick their sick elders in homes and place their care in the hands of strangers. Ancient cultures used to worship their elders, seeing them as the most powerful souls of their communities, worshiping the ground that they walk on and answering to their beck and call. This transition from maiden/mother to crone/wise woman used to be so revered. The crone is truly, wholly, and completely what each of us women aspire to become. What an honor.
There is always going to be some grieving process that takes place during any archetypal/cycle transition. In fact, anyone who moves from ovulation into luteal phase of the menstrual cycle experiences this grief in the body mourning not becoming pregnant. Grief is so validated and welcomed. However there is so much to be gained in the next phase of life! And how lucky are we, in a world when some do not sadly make it to the crone/sage/wise woman, to be able to embrace this initiation.
A wintering of the menstrual cycle involves beginning perimenopause and menopause cycles, where there is a decline in estrogen and progesterone, and the body stops releasing eggs. The womb, sitting in the energetic field of the sacral chakra, is always the portal of the birth of life (during menstruation) and creative ideas (every archetype/expression of a woman's life). During the wintering, a woman’s energy levels may change, and she may desire more rest and solitude. However since she has lived all the cycles, she has gained a well of knowledge that she can offer as the wise woman/sage back to the younger female archetypes. She has power in this, because not only does she have experience under her belt, but she also has a deepened inner connection to her intuition and inner power that she can pour into her service to the world (career) if she so chooses. Or she can pour this into creativity, art, family, experiences. Her sexual/creative energy is slow and patient, not directly linked to the purpose of conceiving children.
My work through Muse Essence honors women during all phases of life, including the Crone. We have premenopausal/menopausal essential oil rollers with ingredients like geranium, clary sage, peppermint, bergamot, sandalwood, ylang ylang, and lavender that can support physical symptoms that come with hormonal change, soothe the emotions and nervous system, and help women embrace the energetic shift that comes with welcoming the transition. It’s all about empowering you to love and accept yourself through education about what’s happening in our ever-evolving bodies and learning the nutrition, lifestyle practices, and holistic rituals that can help cultivate balance, ease, peace, and joy.
Nicol can be found at nicolnatale.com or @nicolnatale, @shopmuseessence (holistic essential oil products) @_bodyworship (retreats)
