Stop oversharing about your career shift
Stop Telling People Too Much!
Recently, I saw a Substack article in which an author declared she was taking a break from writing. A deep wondering rolled through me. One part of my brain was incredibly happy for her but mostly I didn’t care at all. Why did she need to admit to the internet she was taking a break? Do we all really depend on each other’s words so much that we need to announce ourselves like on-off switches? In the entrepreneurial space, strangers announce breaks with deep details on why they they need a time out.
In contrast, for any corporate vacations, an out of office suffices. It’s a boundary corporate execs loosely follow, checking emails over vacation coffee, flipping a laptop open over lunch or a boozey happy hours. And yet on social media, we insist on telling people we’re taking a break and why we need to. Mostly, no one needs to know and it’s normal to take breaks.
I’ve overshared, too. I emailed 1,000 people alerting them with zest I was having a summer of fun with my children after 25 years of missing summertime. More cringey was my need to tell others about my social media break in 2019 or why I like one meta driven platform over another. I’m not a CMO, no one cares what I think but I felt I had to show my time away like a badge of self-care. The algorithm likely never published my alerts to more than a few faces; the irony is not lost on me.
I recognize I have been lucky to have this opportunity to shift mindfully after years of grinding, saving and planning. My grit got me here to a more open consulting schedule. As a woman formerly on Wall Street, I planned this career shift with many sacrifices leading this way. Very few know the intimate details of why I left, felt bullied daily or was sexually harassed from the time I started in the workforce.
I’m not sure my dentist is publishing her time off like I had done over social platforms. The oversharing is our Ego living outside of our bodies on social media. My former hustle-guilt pushed me to tell everyone that my schedule was in different place.
Was it necessary? I would argue, no.
Stop telling everyone everything in the name of authenticity
The same oversharing applies on social media apply for your career plans. You don’t need to tell anyone your plans. Companies are not telling you when they’re planning to lay you off until that very moment. Your client might tell you they're firing you until they ghost you. In the vein of authenticity, you might feel the need to constantly over communicate every chess move you are making.
Consistency of communication and taking steps to a new balanced life is important, but at your own pace. Mel Robbins posted this “the secret to getting what you want is consistency” last week. But does it stand up to goals in mid career?
Not every author publishes every year, I still read their novels. Not every band releases an album every year, I still buy concert tickets. You don’t need to write a Substack every Tuesday to make a shift happen. The requirements we face with algorithms are THE new hustle culture. Is it worth signing up for? That’s up to you and no matter what career journey you are on, be kind, be realistic and keep those metrics to yourself. Out of office replies are certainly enough.
Creating realistic approaches to career shifts.
When you are ready and clear about what’s next for you, rather than announcing a shift or a change in flight, consider these three ways to align your communication to your work life. Learning from my mistakes can help you avoid the constant communication with colleagues that should not know your plans.
1– Space. Creating personal-thinking-time-blocks on your calendar allows for space for your current job or your next one. We need time to digest and multitasking does not work.
Days off or personal time might mean proactively reducing stress to get yourself to the doctor, acupuncturist or practitioner to support your health.
Career uplevels or big shifts both need you to connect with many people. Personal and professional networking is a place to share what you have in mind but you need breaks from job hunting, too. Use space in your week or weekend to take real breaks t for your brain to determine next steps each week.
2- Who needs to know- There are likely 5 people who need to know, today, what your career plans are. None of them are your boss at this moment. Working behind the scenes helps a transition occur as you need it to unfold. The water cooler gossip should be kept in the dark of any shifts you plan to make.
3- Save something for you - Authenticity doesn’t mean oversharing. Know why you want to change and prepare for a 18 month journey to integrate whatever is happening in your career or life. Examine what support you need to make a career uplevel or change to integrate these edits to your nervous system. These supports can have a mix of a friend but avoid anyone at work or your family. Experts to assist you without judgement and hold you accountable.
I allowed myself to get wrapped up in every work emergency and yet never to deal with my own. Sadly, I was so succumbed to my career executive presence that I was on a conference call (about a meeting that would end up being canceled) on the way to put my dog down. She was with me for 13 years and yet I did not respect her companionship enough to take the space to process that loss. Instead, I was on a useless meeting. Save something for yourself when real life is happening. You don’t get the time back.
Looking at a change as a winding road, rather than an oversharing can save you so much anxiety and unnecessary feedback.
