Year of NO // Almost 30 Ladies, Krista & Lindsey // Create Boundaries for What you Love!
Almost 30 podcast is always on my downloads every Tuesday and Thursday. KRISTA WILLIAMS + LINDSEY SIMCIK are hilarious, power entrepreneurs and have lived in NYC and now live in LA. I started following them on good ‘ole instagram and now they are part of my weekly routine.
It’s the ONLY podcast I do not fast forward. I am forever grateful for their insights as they roll into their 3rd decade of life. These ladies have banded together to take the world by storm.
It is weird to have virtual friends and expanders? I don’t think so!
Check out my sun-filled interview with Krista and Lindsey…
What does the word NO a mean to you?
Krista: For me, learning no has been something I struggle with. I’m still working on using no more. It’s hard for me because saying yes has gotten us where we are. No is a self respect thing for me! I used to be uncomfortable saying no, but the more I say no, it helps me show up as a better person. I’m proud of who I am and so I don’t want to show up half assed. If I’m showing up to an event or working with someone and I’m not excited, my ego is what’s showing up, not the true me. No is still a work in progress
Lindsey: It’s the same for me. I want to avoid looking at No as a negative. There is a shame with saying no. I am now learning to stand confidentiality when I o pass on something or say no when it doesn’t feel right.
The first step being clear on what it’s important with me. As a people pleaser, no can be hard to say. But when I say no when I really mean no, I am not able to show 100%. People respect you more if you say no rather than showing up half way. On 2019, I’m creating boundaries to conserve and use energy to align to what’s important to me.
You mentioned knowing what’s right? Where does alignment come from?
Lindsey: It’s a total physical body feeling! When I just listen to my body, there is very little judgment and doubt, it feels peaceful. At first, everything seems exciting and I realize I need manage excitement. So, I talk to myself a lot. Asking myself ‘does this feel on brand’, “what you believe”? Does this brand or podcast speaker align to the message you believe, is this a lesson you want to learn for yourself.
I’ve learned over time to work the feeling muscle before saying yes or no.
Krista: What we’ve done to stay aligned, we wrote down mission and values--what do we stand for….almost 30 is all about inclusion.
We want everything we do to align almost 30 values. If it’s a sponsor or partnership, do these brands align? What’s been fun is also asking our community ask them about opportunities we’ve been presented with. We make the final decision but we want to see all sides.
Even with our ambassadors, do they align with our brand, do they align with vision,
How has No served your personal life?
Krista: my no is related to societal pressure, I’m veganish and don’t drink. It all started in Chicago when everyone was partying. Say no to what everyone was doing, like the drinking,watching lame TV, eating meat was difficult at first. But I am a vegan and that started when I was in College. Plus, no drinking has a great benefit to me. It’s about focusing on yourself in a positive way.
Lindsey: Personally, saying No in the dating part of life, knowing in my body what feels has been a game changer. I now listen and trust my body. For a long time, I was getting body hits of initiation but I didn’t listen to it. One particular time, I didn’t listen to my body and blew up later. Not being connected to what I wanted made things worse in the end rather than just communicating that feeling of No, this isn’t right.
Since I’ve been in LA, listening to intuitive hits and heart have been my go-to with guys.
Saying NO is empowering for both of us. When the are receiving my truth. It’s a very clear is a gift for them too. Maybe rather than being unclear, or giving a ‘maybe’ that guy will be clear with others in his life.
If you had advice for someone who struggles with boundaries what advice would you give them?
Lindsey: Therapy helps me so much. It takes practice for me because I was and am still concerned with hurting people. Regardless of if you creating boundaries or don’t create a boundary, there is always room to disappoint someone. Instead of focusing on hurting someone, focus on what that boundary what that does to you. If you say no, or create a boundary in a kind and respectful way, there is a chance you will both end up in a better spot than without the boundary.
Create a boundary for you so you can give your all to the things that really matter!
To sum it up-- think of it as a practice. It won’t always be seamless. And you have to train the people around you!
Krista: For someone who has no practice saying no, understand what is a boundary.
I understand someone might be doing too much, or think think don’t have any control. If you don’t take ownership of what you do or don’t do, your time will get eaten up by others. And what others want you to do, isn’t necessarily aligned to what you want to do.
If they have a 9-5 and commute, trying to find other places to find time or say no to say stretched. Created to have time for thinking and self development. At first it might be 10 mins, then 30 and so on. Try it and get clear first.
Create boundaries for what you love.